She Who Wields the Pen: Beholder of the Poles and Everything in Between

Call Me: Elendarin, a favored pen name, or Elen, the short form people love

Daddy-O was Shootin’: X’s

I was Surgically Removed from My Mother on: November 30th

Outside of Being Psychologically Shattered, I’m a: Full Time Student

I am a Student Masochist Pursuing a: Bachelor of Arts in Psych

The Crazies They’ve Called Me [with Fun Explanations!]:

  • ADHD—”What the fuck was I just thinking about? Where did that train of thought come from? Where did I leave my keys? WHY CAN’T I FOCUS FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES” Disorder
  • Rapid Cyling Bipolar I—”I’m going to make you incredibly happy, sad, horny, irate, sociable, twitchy, reckless, sleepless, productive as all hell, or nonfunctional for a specific reason, maybe ALL at once, because fuck you, that’s why. OH! And NOW, you may hallucinate and nope out of reality for a few days whenever the fuck I say so, because once again, fuck you, that’s why,” Disorder
  • Conversion Disorder/Functional Neurological Disorder—”Fuck You in whatever way I so choose at the time, at various different times, with various different triggers, Central Nervous System/Peripheral Nervous System” Disorder
  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder—”Worry about ALL the things! Ever! Right fucking now!” Disorder
  • Borderline Personality Disorder— “You suck at emotions, react with irrational anger at insignificant triggers, mimic bipolar ultradian cycling, come with impulsive behavior, and cause you to either idolize or absolutely despise your loved ones and friends at any given time” Disorder.
  • Emetophobia— “When you or anyone else throws up, appears/feels like they’re going to throw up, even coughs and makes a sound like they may throw up, or you’re in an environment in which someone may throw up, you freak out and potentially have a panic/anxiety attack” Disorder.

Despite My Diagnoses: 

They do not define me as a person. I am not “bipolar”. I am not “borderline”. I am not “ADHD”. I am a bipolar patient. I was diagnosed borderline. I was diagnosed or have ADHD. I have an anxiety disorder [technically two]. I have Conversion Disorder/FND/whatever the fuck you want to call it.

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