Still Dark…

I can still feel the warmth of the light,
but I’m still so fucking cold.
No jacket,
no blanket…,
nothing,
can shield me from the blistering winds of the barren landscape.
I know this frigid wasteland well,
but why is it suddenly so much colder?

I can still hear the voice of the light,
but it’s a whisper in the distance at best—
drowned out by the turbulent waves of the ocean.
I struggle to keep my head above abyssal waters.
The waves are always rough,
roaring in my ears,
drowning out my thoughts,
but why is it suddenly so deafening?

I can still see a faint glow,
a halo of light,
behind the eclipsing void,
but I can’t find my way around the beast to escape.
It’s usually absolutely terrified…,
hissing and spitting,
recoiling at the very sight.
Why is it suddenly so resilient?

I can still grasp the hand of the light,
always extended to me when I lose myself.
I just can’t keep a hold anymore.
I think I have a firm grip,
but my hand slips,
muscles give,
and I fall away.

I’m tired…,
so goddamn tired.
Why am I so tired again?
I just want to rest.

…But no time…
Just keep going.
My mother’s voice in my head.
Right,
just keep going.

Everyone is tired.
This is normal.
I’m not special.
I’m not different.

Everyone goes to bed hoping to Christ they don’t wake up again.

This. Is. Normal.
Completely Normal.
Everyone is tired.

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Author: Elendarin

Student pursuing a degree in psychology with a concentration in clinical psych. I enjoy writing, watching baseball, foreign languages, and being a massive nerd.

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